Keith Friberg

Keith Friberg Nrgize Cafe Keith Friberg Destroys and VANDALIZES my lawn because I wouldn't pay for an $18 smoothie!!! Wellington, Florida

7th of Apr, 2011 by User166882

On March 2nd, 2011, I went into "Nrgize Cafe" to purchase a smoothie. As I approached the smoothie counter, I saw a very large, incredibly-muscular man with Hulk Hogan-orange skin with his back towards me, as I saw sparks flying outwards towards the sides of him. A loud screeching sound interrupted any sound that was made throughout the entire gym, as the man was obviously welding or sharpening something from behind the counter. "EXCUSE ME?!", I finally had to yell in order for the man to hear me. The screeching noise and the sparks came to a sudden halt, as the giant man slowly, yet eerily turned around. As he turned around, I noticed he had the scariest-looking face I've ever seen! He had demon-like fiery red eyes, veins bulging out everywhere, and he had such a hideous expression on his face! "Could I get a smoothie?", I asked. As the man turned around to face me, I couldn't help but notice he was grasping a huge Rambo-style knife in his right hand. This thing had to be 10-inches long! It appeared I had interrupted him as he was sharpening it. He began to breathe very heavily, now clutching this machete even harder is his grasp, holding it directly 90 degrees up. "Can't you see what I'm in the middle of here?!", he yelled, now squeezing his eyes completely shut and trembling with the knife as he spoke to me. As I looked over his shoulder, I noticed a huge poster of this man with his signature on it. The title of this poster read: "Keith Friberg: Syracuse Legend". I put two and two together to conclude that this man was Keith Friberg. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!", he screamed again, this time time directly in my face, as spit flew right in my eyes. "Can I get a chocolate smoothie?", I asked, very startled at this point. The look on this guy's face after I said that was so menacing, it was pure evil! He then backed up away from his counter, turned toward the wall, and repeatedly struck the wall with the knife over and over again, screaming like an animal as he did it! "WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!", he kept screaming over and over again as he simultaneously repeatedly stabbed the wall with his giant blade. It reminded me of the famous scene from "Raging Bull" when Robert DeNiro was pounding away at the wall with his bare fists. People were walking by saying "What is wrong with you?!" He finally stopped and kept the knife stuck in the wall. "Do you know how much this is going to cost you?!", he screamed, insinuating that I couldn't afford it. "3 or 4 bucks?", I asked curiously. "Ha! Don't insult me! Try $18!", he responded. After realizing this guy was NOT kidding, I told him "nevermind" and quickly headed toward the exit. "HEY LITTLE MAN!", I heard him scream. I turned around only to see the most hideous, sinister look I've ever seen on a man's face. "I'll see you soon", he said, holding that evil grin. His face reminded me of Dr. Hannibal Lector from "Silence of the Lambs." Anyway, I left the gym, knowing I'd never pay such ridiculous prices for a single smoothie. That very night, it had started storming outside. Lightning, thunderm and heavy rain had knocked my electricity out. I don't know what it is about no electricity, but I couldn't sleep. I stayed sitting up in bed for hours, waiting for my power to come back on. Loud lightning strikes kept startling me throughout the night. At about midnight, I was hearing sounds outside of my window which sounded like someone breathing heavily and something breaking. It was hard to decipher what it was over the loud thunder and rain. I decided to take a peek out my window, only to find a horrifying scene! I saw an incredibly large man wielding a machete blade and destroying my property right out in the middle of this rainstorm! My lawn gnomes' heads were being knocked off, my plants, flowers, and bushes were all ripped out of the ground and shred to pieces! As I squinted in the distance, I could see a car drove directly over my mailbox, sending it destroyed across my lawn! I couldn't believe my own eyes! I rushed to my front door to yell at whoever was doing this. Prepared to yell, I quickly flung the front door open to once again receive the biggest fright of my life! This man was already standing inches in front of the door, expecting me to open it! his guy stood nearly 7-feet tall, as I could only see his menacing silhouette along with his giant Rambo knife! As I squinted closely, I could see the ever-so-scary face of Hannibal Lector from the smoothie counter! "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!", I screamed, at this point hysterical. The man then literally uttered a loud snarl, grabbed my iron-framed patio bench, and hoisted it directly over his head! The strength of this guy was just insane! That bench had to weight over 400 pounds! He then heaved my bench right into my closed garage door, leaving a gaping hole through my garage beyond repair! Then he aggressively walked over to my basketball hoop, reached up, and ripped the rim clean off the backboard! "What kind of animal is this?!", I thought. I ran to call the police, however my phone lines were down as well. The last thing he did was get into his car, which looked like a BMW, revved his engine, and finally peeled out, doing donuts and 360's all over my grass, screeching his tires along the way. He peeled out and vanished down the street before I could get the license plate. It turned out I didn't even need the license plate number because as I walked back in, I noticed he had carved the words "Keith Friberg Was Here!" right in my front door! I had to wait a whole week before I could get the police to come out to check my home. When they finally came out, they sent one cop by himself. He got out of the car and the first words he said were "This place looks like a warzone!", referring to my yard. I walked the cop around my house to show him all of the damage, as the cop estimated somewhere in the $13,000 ballpark. Alas, I showed him my front door, with the words "Keith Friberg Was Here" written on it. When the cop read that, his jaw dropped open in fear. His eyes became teary-eyed, and he started saying prayers! "There's nothing we can do. Our job is done here", he said, as he briskly walked to his car and got in. He then peeled out of my driveway and drove away quicker than Keith Friberg did. I have now gotten fines from my neighborhood's HOA about my yard looking the way it does. I've been trying to clean up this mess since the day it happened. I've taken pictures of all the damages and vandalization all around my house, making special note of the huge palm tree that is now standing upside down in my swimming pool. How Keith got that in there, I have no idea. All of this trouble because I refused to pay this lunatic's $18 smoothie. Had I known I was going to go through all of this, I would've just paid it and moved on with my life. Anyone have any suggestions on what else I should do with this situation?

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