Yelp

Yelp CEO uses drugs,racial slurs

8th of May, 2011 by stoppelman

Some of you may have heard the hype regarding the controversial site Yelp.com in the news over the last year. We have received several letters and calls from our viewers who have expressed serious concern over the site.

We have decided to launch an investigation of our own into Yelp and it's founder, Jeremy Stoppelman. We have sent an undercover investigator to get to the bottom of Jeremy's motives, but we uncovered more than we bargained for. For the safety of our investigator, we shall call him simply "Joe". Due to the sensitive nature of our investigation, we have decided to keep all parties involved anonymous in order to protect them from retaliation.

But we don't want to jump ahead here. First we want to expose what we discovered about Yelp.com and the scripts the site uses. Two IT analysts from Washington discovered that Yelp.com actually exploits users who visit the site. Yelp installs malware onto the unsuspecting users computer and harvests personal information. They have concluded that simply visiting Yelp.com puts you at an increased risk of a cyber attack since Yelp installs software that they use to steal your personal information. We found this very disturbing.

So as if that wasn't disturbing enough, we sent our undercover investigator to get close to Jeremy
Stoppelman. Our investigator, Joe has years of experience blending in and learning how to get friendly with high profile individuals. So after a few weeks of doing what he does best, Stoppelman started talking. What you are about to learn may disturb you.

Joe uncovered a lot of disturbing information about Stoppelman. Joe got close enough to Stoppelman to meet him at several locations. On one occasion, Stoppelman admitted to our investigator that he "loves cocaine". After making this statement, our undercover investigator asked Stoppelman : "You're kidding, right?". Stoppelman replied, "Does it look like I'm kidding?" and pulled out a small bag of cocaine and placed it on the table. Stoppelman proceeded to cut a "line" and snorted the cocaine while our investigator just sat there, trying not to look disgusted. Jeremy repeatedly tried to offer Joe a line of cocaine.

A week later, Stoppelman contacted our investigator Joe again (he is very careful not to use his cell phone number, which we have but have chosen not to release). He told him about a party that night and asked if Joe wanted to go with him. Of course, Joe said absolutely. They got to the party at 11:15 PM. It was at a private mansion in a secluded area. Joe described it as surreal. A beautiful gated entrance followed by a long winding driveway.

Upon entering the mansion, we were greeted by two "women" who offered us drinks. But something was wrong. It turned out that those "women" were not really women at all. Joe explained to us that both had deep voices and Adam's apples. The two guided us downstairs
to where the DJ was playing. To Joe's unpleasant surprise, he found several men engaging in sexual acts with one another. At this point, Jeremy turned to Joe and said "What's wrong?"
and placed his arm around him. Joe, a confessed homophobe, said to Jeremy "I'm sorry Jeremy
this is not my kind of party".

At that point, Jeremy became very angry, throwing his glass at a wall. He said to Joe "I thought you were interested in me". Joe, trying to keep his composure, politely excused himself from the
mansion. On his way out, he heard Jeremy utter a very insulting remark aimed at an African American male who was at the party. He told him "Get the fuck out Nigger". The African American man, who was clearly intoxicated - was escorted out by two security guards.

Unfortunately, due to Jeremy's highly erratic lifestyle and violent tendencies, we weren't able to continue our investigation. However, we believe that we have done our job to expose Jeremy Stoppelman for the person that he really is. We just got more than we bargained for.

While we were planning to release photos of Jeremy Stoppelman during the course of this investigation within the next few weeks, we have decided not to do so since the photos were too gruesome.

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