| St. Joseph Regional |
| St. Joseph Regional Medical Center-Plymouth St. Joseph Regional Medical Center, Unresolved Sexual Misconduct destroying my family Plymouth, Indiana |
| 2nd of Jun, 2011 by User199055 |
| Approximately a year ago, my husband started exhibiting unusual behavior. He lost his temper for no apparent reason, picked fights and started blowing small problems out of proportion. He had been receiving treatment for a diabetic foot ulcer for nearly six months; it had become infected and he required twice daily IV treatment for osteomyelitis. I contacted all of his care providers regarding the temper outbursts, thinking that medications, the stress of chronic illness or something related to his multiple medical conditions might be the problem. To make a long story as short as possible, it turns out one of the nurses decided she wanted to have an affair with my husband. My husband skipped work to spend a weekend with her. He told me he was going to work, then sent a text that he was going to stay at a local motel and pray for the whole weekend. The truth came out; apparently the nurse hinted at marriage, because my husband came home and once he knew that our kids and I knew, he filed for divorce. I reported the nurse to her employer and to the state agency. I requested the hospital to inform him that this was not proper conduct-preferably with both of us, together. Apparently the nurse lost her job, because I was served with a retaliatory restraining order by her "for calling her place of employ". I attempted to have it dismissed, but was yelled at by a judge (who thought I was a co-worker) who would not allow me to show evidence rebutting her claims or that it was retaliatory for a good faith report. As it stands, my husband has become hateful toward me, claiming I'm destroying this woman's life, our children (teens) have been told that she is a "nice" woman who did nothing amiss and they and I are suffering from stress-related illnesses. In the meantime, the hospital has not been at all helpful in resolving the matter, the state agency is apparently not pursuing anything because the nurse took my husband to an attorney and had him attest to the "consensuality" of the relationship (which, according to the National Council of State Boards of Nursing, IS NOT a defense) and my husband recently had to have part of his foot amputated due to a new infection that was not discovered as he does not live at home, can not see well enough to check his own feet, and apparently, can't count on the nurse to check on those sorts of things. She has no divorce filings in place and the relationship seems incredibly destructive to him: he has destroyed his credit rating, is in the process of destroying everything we've worked for and on, including our marriage and family, and is usually in a bad mood or snaps very easily. He may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (a known side effect of such a betrayal of trust); before people try to tell me of the "consensual" nature, etc., I found a letter she wrote in our bookshelf in which it is clear that my husband's needs and desires WERE NOT a consideration in her decision to actively and aggressively pursue him. I believe she chose him to be a victim based on characteristics unique to him. My main complaint is that nobody will take responsibility for informing my husband of the blatant and prohibited unprofessional conduct, and the likely consequences (psychological effects he's been showing). He sees me as an "enemy". We are suffering financially; I've had to hire an attorney I can ill afford as my husband has been trying to throw me out of our house, the kids and I are pretty devastated emotionally and they are getting the idea that it's "ok" for a health care professional to initiate sexual contact/relationship with a patient. I've been racking up the bills for counseling and medical tests for our children as well. I've contacted numerous attorneys, support agencies, the Board of Nursing (out of state as well), various other health care facilities, etc. There seems to be no support or resources for what also seems to be a highly unusual situation. Most literature discussing "consensual" sexual relationships makes no mention of patients who have a family, but all agree that such relationships are ultimately harmful to the patient. I've also run across numerous reports of "consensual" relationships that have ended in the death of the patient, at which time the professional may finally be prosecuted (but not necessarily convicted). A secondary complaint is that the nurse has contacted my children, sending letters and a gift card, trying to win their affection...while she has a (retaliatory) restraining order against me prohibiting me from contacting members of her family (husband/child). 24 states have criminalized this sort of contact; some automatically issue a restraining order against the professional that covers all members of the involved family. BTW, my husband is still receiving treatment at this facility. The treating podiatrist told me months ago that she knew a nurse was going off unit to bring papers over to a separate treatment site when my husband was there (and had no legitimate reason to do so). She did not report anything; she told me straight out, "I don't want to get involved." I don't want to be involved, nor do our children. We have no choice and apprently no recourse. This is destroying us and there is nothing (I know of) that I can do to change it. |
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