Recovery Management Services, Inc. (RMS) was apparently a good rehab facility at one time when its founder was still alive. Sadly, the facility has gone downhill drastically under the leadership of his wife (age 67). She is ill-prepared to deal with addicts and alcoholics that come to her for help. She has made her son (former addict) the director, however, in the 2 1/2 months that my son was a client (that's what they call the patients) at RMS I never saw him at work a single time. Apparently he was on paternity leave. Nepotism is pervasive and the daughter works there as well.

The founder's widow lures you in with a promise of compassionate care, but once she gets your check, her compassion turns to tyranny. She treats staff (almost all former addicts) and the clients with disrespect. The company owns several houses on a single block, and she can be heard screaming in the house next door. For example, I asked why my son was not allowed to go to the gym since they were allowed time off the property on weekends after the first two weeks and if they were good. Without an answer she stormed through the hallway, grabbed a staff member, screaming come with me, left one house and went to the house next door. I could hear her screaming at my son from the house next door. She also controls clients through humiliation. Oh, by the way, the boys are in one house and the girls in another. They are not allowed to sit next to each other or even talk to each other. This is true of their group sessions or even an AA meeting off premises. On one occasion my son broke the rules and crossed the street to talk to the girls who were on the front deck. They called him over there. For this they all lost weekend passes to see their families. While screaming at all of them in her office over this, the head of this organization told the others about my son, You know, he thinks he is better than the rest of you. This could not be further from the truth, but she surmised this since he had a college degree. My son was humiliated and his self-esteem (they claim to want to build it up) suffered greatly. She also called him a spoiled brat as well as other names.

Regarding the program, many come for a one-month stay; however, we were talked into the three-month program. Two months of recovery and a third month called the Working Man's Program. This is a very bad deal! They represent that they will help you find a job, but this is a hollow claim. Instead, they throw up roadblocks to employment. We gave my son a cell phone at this point, never thinking you could look for a job without one. This was met with more screaming, the cell phone being confiscated, and my son losing passes on the weekends. Even after they confiscated the cell phone, an employee came up to my son's room, yelled Is that a cell phone? and proceeded to tear his bed apart and the mattress was thrown on the floor. My son was ordered in the corner while the room was ripped apart. Nothing was found.

As far as the help they give you in finding a job in the Working Man's Program, they tell you to get on Bart and go to restaurants and stores to put in applications. There is a pervasive lack of knowledge at RMS about the advantages of computers and cell phones in the job search process, and they are strictly forbidden. My son has a college degree and no criminal record (he became addicted to Adderall with the help of a doctor). I thought he could do better than flipping burgers for which I was labeled an elitist. He was only allowed to take Bart to East Bay Works, a program run by the Employment Development Department of the State of California. They have the resources there to assist you, however, there are waiting lists and it is very crowded. You may use their computer for 1 hour and you may make local calls. All of this you can do without the help of RMS. My son found a job online, but the recruiter was in Utah. My son had to take Bart back and forth from EBW to the house to call his recruiter and then back again to the computer. There is a phone in each house, but it is answered by the addicts living there and sometimes not in a professional manner. This became an even bigger problem when my son had to do 7 hours of training on the computer (only one hour is permitted by EBW) and call to talk to his recruiter during the day. He was about to lose the job opportunity altogether when RMS terminated him for sitting next to a girl at an AA meeting offsite. RMS has refused to return our money.

As I write this, I am still in disbelief. I think this woman running RMS gets away with her tyrannical style because most of the addicts have court dates and require her support in court. When your choice is jail or RMS, I guess RMS is the best choice for most. (Frankly, I'd rather go to jail than be exposed to her verbal and emotional abuse.) I believe the staff is also intimidated since they probably would have difficulty finding other jobs since most are felons and former addicts.

Did I mention she wouldn't let my son go to church either? He had a pass on a Sunday to spend time with us. Supposedly this is a 12-step program based on spirituality, but our church was out of the question since it was 10 miles away in another city. We DO have an automobile. To be fair, he was allowed to accompany us to church the following week. She was able, however, to clearly establish her power over our son and us.

As I read in another review and as I mentioned above, it is true that they do not return any money when they terminate your stay -- even for something as innocuous as sitting next to a girl. I have observed that they are nicer to you if they can talk you into staying in their Clean and Sober Housing after your initial stay. My son was not at all interested, so no more money could be squeezed out of this turnip. Why not terminate him?

The staff lacks credentials with the exception of two family therapists who come in for only a few group sessions a week. All other classes are taught by the former addicts. They take their cues from the head of the organization with respect to treatment of clients. The family therapists are excellent, but they are not there very much. You have to provide your own psychiatrist at your expense. They will recommend one, but you still have to pay in addition to the thousands you are paying RMS.

In addition to all the above abuses, and I haven't mentioned them all, the head of RMS insisted we bring in my son's Adderall prescribed by his physician. She said the psychiatrist might want to wean him off of it. We did so, but asked to have it returned. When it came time to return it, it was mysteriously missing. The second in charge and another staff member turned the place upside down. Then they tried to blame us by saying we never brought it in. When this was proven false, they again tried to blame us by saying we took it home. When this didn't stick, we were told the pills were destroyed. Street value of the 200 pills is about $3,000. We filed a police report.

In summary, if you are planning to put your son or daughter in the care of RMS, you will be making a huge mistake. RMS forgets these people are addicts and need help to return to a normal drug/alcohol free life. It is emotional experience coming off drugs or alcohol. They don't need criticism and unrelenting emotional abuse. Unless your son or daughter is totally docile, will put up with any emotional abuse, will never break a rule, will never lose their temper, and likes cleaning toilets, you will have a difficult time of it.

Oh, did I mention the rat in my son's room?