It all started when I visited there for a Florida Gators game a few weeks ago. Our entire section was extremely annoyed by this absolute CLOWN that kept getting on the microphone and screaming vulgar things in it. He was even dressed like a clown! He was wearing a bright orange top hat, with a blue Florida Gators sleeveless shirt, bright orange MC Hammer-style baggy pants, and accompanied with a cane. He was dancing around the restaurant and bar with everyone making fun of him, dressed the way he was. But the thing that fueled me the most was that he kept screaming the "F" word into the microphone, as if he's cheering on his Florida Gators. In the meantime, I had my children and family there and they had to listen to this imbecile screaming that into the microphone like he was cool. I immediately asked my waitress, who was very nice and attentive, who that idiot was. To my astonishment, she told me it was the OWNER of the restaurant! His name was Ryan Cordero! I couldn't believe, as an owner, that he would be screaming curse words into the microphone at his own establishment!

I asked the kind waitress to bring him over to my table so I could have a word with him. When he came over, he gave me the cockiest look I've ever seen a man give. He looked at me like I didn't belong in his restaurant. When I asked if he could keep the vulgar language to a minimum, he scoffed at me and said "that's he kind of environment that we have here during Gator games. If you don't like it, take a hike." He then walked away, dancing in his ridiculous outfit. I was simply shocked when I heard this come from his mouth! I've never heard an owner say those sort of things to his customers! I felt so bad for the waitress, because she was doing everything she could to make my table happy. Needless-to-say, we got up and left.

I was fed up with ever going to the place again, until my wife insisted that we go to the "bar side" last week. She said no Gator game was going on, therefore, no swearing or people on the microphone were going to be there. After a heated argument, she won, and we made the choice of going there again. Bad idea again!...

We get in and we sit down at the inside bar, where, once again, this complete nerd Ryan Cordero is, yet again, on the microphone! He runs his mouth over and over on the microphone again, which everyone in the entire bar at this point is sick of hearing his voice. Every time he spoke, I now heard someone near my wife and I saying "God! Will you shut up?!" Over 100 people were now calling this guy Ryan a "dork". I then asked the bartender why the owner would be on the microphone and dancing like a clown all around his own restaurant, and the bartender replied with "oh that's not the owner! That's the owner's son! He just mooches off of his parents and lives upstairs rent-free." Then, the bartender concurred with me about how much of a nerd he is.

Minutes later, Ryan Cordero, "the owner", came and sat down next to my wife. He immediately introduces himself as "the owner" and starts flirting with my wife. He tells her "here, I'm buying you drinks", as he completely ignores the fact that I'm right next to her. He starts telling her how "sexy" she is and how he'd like to get to know her, and finally my wife says "well, my husband is right next to me." I then introduced myself as the guy he insulted at the Gator game a couple weeks ago. Ryan immediately got teary-eyed, and grabbed the bartender and said "ok, charge them for everything. I'm not buying them anything! He then ran off and got back on his microphone, sending customers out in disgust. My wife and I had settled that we'd never go back there again, and we were all done with Ryan. Well, we thought we were, anyway...

Two days ago, I popped open my garage to find that my golf cart was missing! Confused, I quickly called my wife, and she had no idea where it was. The keys to my golf cart were still hanging up, so I knew someone had to have stolen it! I immediately called the police and reported my golf cart had been stolen. Police came out and made a report, and within hours I received a phone call back. The police had FOUND my golf cart, and confirmed that it had been stolen. When I asked if they knew who stole it, they told me his name, which almost sent me into shock! I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it! "Ryan Cordero stole your golf cart, sir!" Yes, Ryan Cordero. Needless-to-say, I was LIVID. They had told me that Ryan had stolen my golf cart and was he was found with tons of amphetamines and drugs on him. "He'll be going to jail for a long, long time", the police officer told me. "Thank God!", I said, completely relieved.

I will never again go to the Old Key Lime House with that nerd walking around there. He comes downstairs from his "room" and walks into the dining room in pajamas and other inappropriate attire. I have told everyone I know about this moron Ryan Cordero. I know a lot of people, and they are certain that they will let this news be known to everyone they know. I am going to the news myself with this story. Ryan Cordero has perhaps doomed an otherwise good restaurant because of his antics!